A recent UK study that found "men identified more with statements about women made by convicted rapist's than statements made in men's magazines about women." Obviously these findings have me all hot and bothered. I am pounding the keyboard like a punching bag just typing this. It's stirred a whole slue of questions and thoughts in my head that I will delve into later. First, I'm going to paraphrase/quote the article from the Huffington post for those of you who just want the meat and potatoes of the study. The actual study is published in the British Journal of Psychology.
"According to a new study, comments made in men's magazines about women are almost nearly identical to those made by convicted rapists. Miranda Horvath of Middlesex University and Peter Hegarty of the University of Surrey looked through four of the U.K.'s most popular men's magazines, or, "lads' mags," (think Playboy, Maxim, GQ) and selected a range of comments made about women."
For example: "Mascara running down the cheeks means they've just been crying, and it was probably your fault ... but you can cheer up the miserable beauty with a bit of the old in and out."
"Then they searched through transcripts of interviews with convicted rapists in the United States and picked out comments rapists had made about women and how their victims' behavior justified their crimes"
For example: "Girls ask for it by wearing these mini-skirts and hotpants ... they're just displaying their body ... Whether they realize it or not they're saying, 'Hey, I've got a beautiful body, and it's yours if you want it."
"The researchers asked a group of men and women 19- 30 years old to rank the quotes according to how derogatory they were and then to identify the source: men's magazine or convicted rapist." The participants found quotes from the "lads' mags" more demeaning, and their identifications were no better than guesswork."
"In another study, the researchers asked men 18- 46 years old to report how strongly they identified with the quotes without knowing attribution. As a result, the men identified more with the rapists' statements than magazines. "
A Doctor from the Psychology Department at the University of Surrey had this to say: “There is a fundamental concern that the content of such magazines normalizes the treatment of women as sexual objects. We are not killjoys or prudes who think that there should be no sexual information and media for young people. But are teenage boys and young men best prepared for fulfilling love and sex when they normalize views about women that are disturbingly close to those mirrored in the language of sexual offenders?” (Read the rest of this article from the University of Surrey here: http://tinyurl.com/7kfszea)
Well, well, well. I would say I'm at a loss for words, but if you scroll down you'll clearly see I'm not. I'm outraged and angered, but somehow not completely surprised. I mean, there's some shock value to these findings, no doubt. But, when you sit back and think about it, this study gives some form of explanation for the society we live in. Rape culture surround us. It's in "funny" movies (cue the rape scene in "Get Him to the Greek," just to name one), magazines (obviously), TV shows, and music. When these attitudes are infused into our culture, its no wonder our society is plagued with rape. This isn't rocket science, its simple: what goes into our brains as acceptable, funny, or normal, comes out as such.
So let me get this straight... The media normalizes rape, our culture is reluctant to acknowledge it, and scholastic institutions don't educate about it. Well, now that that matzo ball is out of the way, I ask you this: how do we really expect anyone to understand it, much less change it? Is it any wonder 84 percent of men who committed rape, according to the legal definition, said that what they did wasn't rape (according to a 1994 study). Or that nearly half of women who were raped did not classify their experience as such (in a 2000 study by the U.S. Department of Justice" (Huffington Post)).
No wonder so many women don't report their assault, on top of being shamed into silence, victims are made to believe, or at least question if what happened to them was normal! Crippling shame compounded by self doubt is the most unfortunate, unwarranted recipe for silence. It's heartbreaking. But, this study leads me to ponder about the other side of the coin: the rapist.
I cant help but wonder if the 84% stat would change if more men really understood what constituted rape. Anyone educated on this subject knows that rape is a power crime, not a horny guy who got "carried away." No means no-- no excuses. But, think about the environment of a typical college campus, where more women than any other age bracket are raped (1/4). For a lot of people, college is a booze fest. And for a some guys, there seems to be a secret competition of who can get with the most girls, during a semester, a weekend...a night. And though there are a lot of men with outstanding character, we all know there are some without it. So I wonder how many guys commit rape but think they're just "doing what it takes" to get some on a Saturday night. Maybe these "84- percenters" would agree they were being "pushy" but don't think their "pushiness" is the same thing as rape- though it clearly is.
A few things led me to this notion. One obviously being the above statistic. 84%- that's outrageously high. But two, I think back to when I was assaulted. When it first happened, I knew two things: 1) I did not consent to what he did and 2) whatever had just happened was terrible, traumatic and wrong. But my head didn't immediately go to rape. It took time for me to fully realize and come to grips with that had happened. So my thought process initially was, if I didn't realize it was rape, did he?
I've talked about this concept before with a friend who was sexually assaulted. She pressed charges but her attacker passed a lie detector test. His actions clearly constituted assault, but, he passed the test. Of course she and I were very angry and in disbelief. How could this happen? We know lie detector tests are hardly (if at all) reliable but it was the principal of it all. Devastating, heartbreaking, infuriating-- confusing. In the dozens of conversations following the news, we came to the idea that maybe he really didn't realize that what he did was illegal. Who knows, maybe he didn't even think it was wrong. What does a person with no sense of moral judgement consider wrong? Add to that a lack of education and it seems to make even more sense. However, be it known that when I contemplate this notion, I am by no means defending any kind of offender. A lack of morals and education does not justify sexual assault. Sexual offenders are still scum of the earth dirt bags. So lack of education just makes them stupid, scum of the earth dirt bags. Either way, dirt is dirt. I'm just curious if the two factors, especially when combined with influences from the media, could partially account for the 84%.
I think back to the situation at Yale where the Delta Kappa Epsilon's marched across the campus chanting "No means yes, yes means anal." I don't think a single guy from that fraternity really thought a whirl-wind of media coverage and a public scolding (or "slap on the wrist") would actually come from that. I think they truly thought they would do their chant, piss off the women's center and get away with it. Hmm, sounds familiar, huh? I think there are some guys out there with a dangerous sense of entitlement who will do what they want to and flat out disregard any objection. Then, they look around (media, friends, legal system) and see others doing it and getting away with it too. It becomes a perfect, sadistic storm.
It is beyond time we as members of society take a stand. We cannot continue to condone movies that mock rape, music that rhymes about it, and a culture that lives it. As a collective, we so desperately need education and public awareness. Without these factors to help women find their voice, and educate the public about the realities of this crime, we will not see the legal system hold these perpetrators accountable. We need a public uprising of warriors, ready to challenge rape supportive attitudes and shine the light on a disguised crime. It is time we rise and say, enough is enough. Because this- this is beyond "more than enough."
Comment 1 of 2
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on a bunch of points, sort of on a few, and some of them not so much.
I totally agree that rape and sexual assault is trivialized in society and that it should never be made into a form of comedy like the movie you mentioned. I have never seen that move so I can't elaborate specifically on that movie. I also agree that PEOPLE not just men need to have a better understanding of what consent and assault is.
I think movies, magazines, and society in general at times belittles the emotional damage that a sexual assault can cause. However I can't reasonable accept a study when it is implied that the conductors of that study purposefully went looking for offensive statements and then asking women what they think about them. It is one thing when statements are being made with the intent of it being demeaning but in general the statements and comedy in movies aren't meant to be demeaning. They are often very ignorant and insulting but they aren't meant to be demeaning. Further we can all agree, right or wrong that men and women can read the same statement and take two different meanings of the same statement. After all the specific magazines that were referenced to were indeed written for men and written with the intent of communicating to men. I am sure a study could be conducted about various magazines geared toward women that could also pick and choose a few statements out of the thousands and use them as a means of calling women's magazines demeaning to men. I have also seen a movie called American Pie where a older woman had sexual relations with a high school male. Guess what, very, very few men will find that objectionable but far more men would find it objectionable if the adult was a man and the student was a girl. My point is that not only does society view things differently but men and women view things differently. Most of the time the difference in perceptions aren't because men of women are trying to demean the other sex but rather as women or men we personify ourselves into the situation and we view it differently. In order to test this I asked my dad a simple question. "Dad, did you have a woman teacher in high school that you were attracted to and if so would you have consented if you were given the opportunity"?
Dad said with a big smile on his face, "probably".
I then hinted that I have been attracted to a male teacher before. He quickly began to talk about how wrong it would be for the male teacher to even consider having a relationship with his daughter. The mere thought of it angered him and he became very protective. I had to tell him that I was kidding and I just wanted to get an honest reaction.
Comment 2 of 2
ReplyDeleteMy dad is very, very respectful to women, and he is very, very understanding to me as a survivor, but he still views adult and young adult relationships differently based on gender. Some men don't view certain actions and statements as demeaning because they wouldn't feel demeaned if they were in that situation.
Believe me, I get what you are saying here and I hate to see sexual assault made lite of. I hate to hear jokes involving rape that get a laugh from a crowd. There needs to be better resources for educating PEOPLE in general and we need to stop viewing MEN as the enemy. The enemy isn't men, it is ignorance. All people say and do stupid things that will offend someone, that's human nature and further proof that humans aren't perfect. However I will always be suspect of people that seemingly set out to find objectionable material and then conduct a study to prove what they have already determined to be objectionable. That's the same reason why I don't trust political polls. Questions are worded with the intent of driving the person answering the question to a specific response. I did the same thing when I asked my dad those two questions. If I, a 16 year old can manipulate a specific reaction out of my dad to fit my point, a skilled person could do the same in a so called study.
That being said I am going to look up the actual data of this study and not Huffington Posts interpretations of this study. Nothing against Arianna Huffington and her often politically driven website. In fact I seldom take any news source, group, host, or channel at their word. I try as best I can to research multiple sources. I honestly do not blindly trust anyone except my dad and most of his statements I question and ask him to backup with evidence. Yes it drives him nuts. LOL
As I have strayed so far off topic, I will bring this to a close with the following.
I admire what you are doing with this blog and your activism to EDUCATE society about the risk, oversight, and emotional damage that PEOPLE face in regards to sexual assault. I will ask you to be cautious to not try and categorize MEN as inherently cruel, or lacking in empathy and understanding. Men can be victims too. I have met a few and they have far fewer resources than we do, and society greatly belittles their emotional damage.
Again, thank you for what you are doing and, I am really sorry about what happened to you. (((hugs))) if it is okay.
Hi Jaime, thank you so much for your comments. I really value your feed back. First let me say, I think it is wonderful you do not take information at face value. I am an activist, but also a journalist, so I definitely support checking your sources! That's a good quality for you to have. And, I agree with your thoughts on education. It definitely needs to be a 50/50 endeavor. Rape is not a gender issue, rather a societal problem. I heavily criticize the university I was attending at the time of my assault. Because that institution failed to provide any form of education, I felt very alone and confused by my assault. Not only did I not fully understand what had happened to me, I also had no clue what to do about it or what my resources were. A lack of education is a problem and disservice to both sexes. In fact, one of the components of the MMOM Movement is improving education. I feel there is not enough in most schools (middle through college) and what education is out there largely focuses on the wrong aspects. Our culture as a whole tends to teach women how to "not be victims" instead of teaching men not to rape. With that said, I want to certainly acknowledge that rape does not discriminate- it equally devastates both the men and women victimized by this despicable crime. However, this post focuses on male perpetrators for a few reasons. For one, statistically far more women are raped then men. This does not belittle a man's experience with rape, I am just speaking from a woman's perspective. But also, given that a majority of perpetrators are men, I found the above statistics interesting. I am not sure if you have had a chance to view the CNN interview or my film (which I will happily send you a free copy of!) but in both I talk a lot about how education needs to change. There should be better programs in place for teaching women, but education should also include men. A lot of men I interviewed in the film said they received little or no information about rape. Most women I have talked to said the college they attended provided self defense classes and/or rape whistles. Though I am not against self defense, I do not believe that should be the sole method for educating women. This notion puts the responsibility on victim to not be raped, instead of holding the rapist accountable to not rape. With that being said, I know first hand how valuable better education would have been in my situation and for other women I have spoken to. And, given how strongly I feel about creating equal education-- I used this post as a means to hypothesize the possible effects of having an educational program that did incorporate men, and how that might would effect the prevalence of rape. Throughout my college career I extensively studied this topic and continue to. So, when I come across new studies it tends to peak my interest. I do want to point out (and should have in the above article) that "statistically" speaking, a very small percent of men in the population commit rape. Very small. However, the ones who do, are almost always repeat offenders. In my heart, I honestly believe a strong majority of people, not just men, are inherently good. I do not believe that men as a whole are inherently cruel or lack empathy-- I know far too many wonderful men to believe that! In fact, after I was raped, the very first person I told was my best friend- a guy. Unfortunately, there are mean men and women in this world. I just wanted to approach this subject from a different point of view given the various studies I had come across. Thank you for calling to my attention that I needed to take the opportunity to better express my thoughts. Again, I really appreciate your support and feedback! I love starting conversations and value everyone's opinion! I hope you will continue to blog with the MMOM Movement in the future! I am so proud of you, as a fellow survivor, for speaking out and sharing your insight on this topic. Happy holidays, and HUGS!:)
ReplyDeleteGREAT job Bergen! Loved the entire article. I also agree with the fact that education about sexual displays of behavior should be distributed 50/50. Just like in the beginning of the article how the quote said something about girls wearing miniskirts and hot pants to show off their bodies to seduce men. As a self proclaimed fashionista, I would say that it is hard sometimes to walk away from a piece of clothing that I adore, but know that it is a little low or a bit too short. As a woman i feel we dress more for other women (unless your job specifically requires you to dress for men). I do not consciously go out in public with the intent to seduce men, but i do LOVE expressing myself with clothing while also admiring how other women are expressing themselves. This is why i love the Arabic and Indian cultures. A lot of people think their covered muslin clothing is keeping them in the dark ages, but in actuality the majority of the women in those cultures, educated ones at that, appreciate their conservative clothing for the soul purpose that it does keep men from harassing/degrading them in public. And just so you know a lot of those women are wearing FABULOUS couture under their Thobes. :) just some food for thought.
ReplyDeleteThat is why it is so important as a society to stress the importance of your behavior and how one portrays themselves and possible consequences.There is never an excuse for rape, but just like your friend's perpetrator passed the lie detector test because he might not have known what he did was wrong, some young women might not realize that by wearing certain provocative things, it is putting yourself out there in a light that they might not want.
And dont even get me started on the Garb in Cosmo and other women mags. Talk about some confusion for young women!!!
"...I am not sure if you have had a chance to view the CNN interview or my film (which I will happily send you a free copy of!)..."
ReplyDeleteI would love to have a copy of your film but I will have to ask my dad if it is okay that I give you our address. I did see your CNN interview on another blog and that's how I came to be here.
There's a contact me page on my blog.