This is a copy of an email I got from a dear friend. I liked it so much I couldn't keep it to myself. Enjoy!
"subject: warning...this is me ranting a little!
It's not much info on it but I thought it could spark some good conversation possibly around the idea of date rape.
http://inventors.about.com/b/2011/08/18/anti-date-rape-straw.htm
"hopefully this invention will help keep women safe" !?!? A straw doesn't keep women safe, people not drugging women is what keeps women safe. Why is it that our society can make money creating/selling a "date rape straw" that tests for date rape substances in drinks...when the real problem is the fact that people in our society commit date rape. Just further proves the point that we need to treat the roots of the problem, not the symptoms. Get rid of date rap by changing attitudes toward rape, then you don't have to sell a stupid straw.
ok I'm off my soapbox."
###
My friend hits the nail on the head. I do believe Mr. Patolsky was well intended in his invention. But, this further illustrates the underlying message ingrained in our culture: "Hey girls, before you go out tonight- when you toss your lip gloss and ID into your clutch, make sure you've saved enough room for your whistle, pepper spray and date rape prevention straw. That is of course, if you don't want to be raped."
I just have to wonder at what point rape became viewed as such a seemingly inevitable part of a woman's life? Has our society really gotten to the point that we've started advocating women bring a science fair project with them to the bar? Again, I understand it's well intended. But the concept translates into a form of acceptance when what we should be doing is taking a stand against rape. We continue to "up the ante" for women with a number of safety precautions (translated into safety expectations) while inadvertently fostering a, "well it happens" attitude. It's just as my friend said above, "Get rid of date rap by changing attitudes toward rape,
But, one last question before I go... Do the straws come in XL for us ladies who prefer long neck bottle? Just food, err, beer for though. Cheers!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
A Letter to My Movers
Wow, where to begin? It's been a whirl wind few months for me, so let's start from the top. In December I graduated from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga... it feels like just yesterday! I traveled a bit, but mostly looked for jobs. Finally one clicked and in April I accepted a reporting position with the NBC affiliate out of Panama City Beach, Fl. That's when time really began to fly! I made a quick move out of Chattanooga and the job took off like a rocket. I'm not actually a journalism major, I majored in Political Science. So needless to say, I've been getting a lot of "on the job training" ha! I absolutely love what I'm doing, though it can be pretty stressful at times! It's been a lot of adjusting, moving to a new town and learning a new job, but I'm finally starting to develop a routine and get back to the things I love and care about (cough cough MMOM).
I look back over the past five years, and particularly the past nine months and am in total awe. Don't get me wrong, I would never want to relive the hell I went through March 7, 2007. Try as I might, it's a day I'll unfortunately never forget. But, it's also a day that no longer has ownership of my life- I own that night. Despite all of its terror, that awful situation managed reshaped my life for the better. So as I said, I'll never be glad it happened, but plucking it from history isn't going to happen. I believe we have to do with it what we can with what we've been dealt and for me, that day changed my entire world.
I would have never moved to Chattanooga where, among making life long friendships, I met a documentary film professor (and dear friend) Dr. Elizabeth Gailey, who introduced me to my true passion in life. She gave me the knowledge, confidence and support I needed to peruse making the film. Had Sarah Waugh (who could not have been a more wonderful film partner) and I not made Miniskirts, Mace and Other Misconceptions, I would have never realized I wanted to be a journalist. That realization led me to the most enriching internship with the ABC affiliate in Chattanooga. I would never be a reporter today without that experience. I feel beyond blessed to say my life took a detour, but I'm living out my dreams. My Political Science background and the support from multiple professors as well as the university, helped me combine my passion and purpose and I am grateful to see it coming to fruition.
Last month I covered a story that really opened my eyes to the way God's plan is working in my life. A police chief was put on temporary leave by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement for mishandling the investigation of a sexual molestation case. He was accused of trying to cover up the situation because the alleged perpetrator was a city employee. The FDLE temporarily suspended his license and the Chief is appealing the case. The alleged victim's grandfather filed the suit with the FDLE and had been battling the case for several years in court. The man accused of the act was found not guilty. I spoke with the city manager about the status of the case in lieu of the Chief, who was out of town. From there, I went to interview the grandfather. When I arrived, he tearfully told me they'd never been asked for their side of the story. This would be his first on camera interview. What hit close to home for me was this man's desire to be heard. Before I go any further, I want to note that I did presented both sides of this story in their entirety and take pride in that. It was definitely an emotional, and difficult story for me to cover. He was very emotional and his pain was very visible. But, I'm a journalist, not a judge or jury. It's not my job to make a ruling and I cannot give an opinion of what happened. But, I can give both sides a microphone and let their stories be told. Having the opportunity to share this family's side for the first time was liberating for all of us. I knew what it felt like to want to be heard. I also knew the pain of losing in court. Not too long ago, I got a nasty message from a person in response to my film, who referred me being raped as "alleged". It cut deep. What hurt the most is that in the eye's of the law, that's the accurate term. It's a jagged pill to swallow. Every time the pseudo name "Steve" rolls off my tongue it tastes bitter in my mouth- that's not my attackers name. It sucks that I can't say it. But on the other side of all of this, I know the power that comes from a microphone. The opportunity to say, "this is what happened, take it or leave it". There will be some who believe it and some who dont. I can live with that. But I can't live with silence. Giving the grandfather a platform and air time felt like a victory in the fight against silence.
Driving away that day, I realized I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to do. I have a job (which is a blessing in itself) but not only that- I love it! I found my passion and everyday is a new adventure. But most of all, through my job, I have an opportunity to give others a voice. Whether it's stories like the one I shared, or happy stories like yesterday's- what life's like growing up on a watermelon farm (and yes, I did eat some straight off the vine!). I'm a professional storyteller which is both rewarding and a cool adventure for me. But beyond that, I'm working hard to grow my career so that I may become a face and voice for victims of sexual violence, and women everywhere. I want to be a radical for change in the fight against the victimization, societal pressures and the oppression women face everyday around the world.
Five years ago I didn't think I would ever dream again. I didn't think life would be rewarding again, and I sure didn't think it could ever be better than it was from April 14, 1988 to March 6, 2007. March 7th was a death day in my eyes. I thought the event would just sit there cumbersomely in my life with no way to move it, no way around it, and no way to work with it. But I was wrong. I do have dreams- bigger than before. My life is rewarding- more enriching than it's ever been. And most of all, Im happy- happier than ever.
My point to all of this is not to boast or preach, but simply say this: It does get better. There is joy to be found in a world that may have let you down. Your heart will heal, your mind will mend and your soul will shine again. I quote Maya Angelou often but it's true; "you can trod me through the very dirt but still like dust I rise." Just when you think nothing good can ever be restored, it will be. Life is a journey so hang on and hold tight. The glow at the end of the tunnel may be faint now. But when you get there you just may find, that glow is from the bright lights of a party... celebrating the beginning of the rest of your life.
I love you movers,
BB
I look back over the past five years, and particularly the past nine months and am in total awe. Don't get me wrong, I would never want to relive the hell I went through March 7, 2007. Try as I might, it's a day I'll unfortunately never forget. But, it's also a day that no longer has ownership of my life- I own that night. Despite all of its terror, that awful situation managed reshaped my life for the better. So as I said, I'll never be glad it happened, but plucking it from history isn't going to happen. I believe we have to do with it what we can with what we've been dealt and for me, that day changed my entire world.
I would have never moved to Chattanooga where, among making life long friendships, I met a documentary film professor (and dear friend) Dr. Elizabeth Gailey, who introduced me to my true passion in life. She gave me the knowledge, confidence and support I needed to peruse making the film. Had Sarah Waugh (who could not have been a more wonderful film partner) and I not made Miniskirts, Mace and Other Misconceptions, I would have never realized I wanted to be a journalist. That realization led me to the most enriching internship with the ABC affiliate in Chattanooga. I would never be a reporter today without that experience. I feel beyond blessed to say my life took a detour, but I'm living out my dreams. My Political Science background and the support from multiple professors as well as the university, helped me combine my passion and purpose and I am grateful to see it coming to fruition.
Last month I covered a story that really opened my eyes to the way God's plan is working in my life. A police chief was put on temporary leave by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement for mishandling the investigation of a sexual molestation case. He was accused of trying to cover up the situation because the alleged perpetrator was a city employee. The FDLE temporarily suspended his license and the Chief is appealing the case. The alleged victim's grandfather filed the suit with the FDLE and had been battling the case for several years in court. The man accused of the act was found not guilty. I spoke with the city manager about the status of the case in lieu of the Chief, who was out of town. From there, I went to interview the grandfather. When I arrived, he tearfully told me they'd never been asked for their side of the story. This would be his first on camera interview. What hit close to home for me was this man's desire to be heard. Before I go any further, I want to note that I did presented both sides of this story in their entirety and take pride in that. It was definitely an emotional, and difficult story for me to cover. He was very emotional and his pain was very visible. But, I'm a journalist, not a judge or jury. It's not my job to make a ruling and I cannot give an opinion of what happened. But, I can give both sides a microphone and let their stories be told. Having the opportunity to share this family's side for the first time was liberating for all of us. I knew what it felt like to want to be heard. I also knew the pain of losing in court. Not too long ago, I got a nasty message from a person in response to my film, who referred me being raped as "alleged". It cut deep. What hurt the most is that in the eye's of the law, that's the accurate term. It's a jagged pill to swallow. Every time the pseudo name "Steve" rolls off my tongue it tastes bitter in my mouth- that's not my attackers name. It sucks that I can't say it. But on the other side of all of this, I know the power that comes from a microphone. The opportunity to say, "this is what happened, take it or leave it". There will be some who believe it and some who dont. I can live with that. But I can't live with silence. Giving the grandfather a platform and air time felt like a victory in the fight against silence.
Driving away that day, I realized I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to do. I have a job (which is a blessing in itself) but not only that- I love it! I found my passion and everyday is a new adventure. But most of all, through my job, I have an opportunity to give others a voice. Whether it's stories like the one I shared, or happy stories like yesterday's- what life's like growing up on a watermelon farm (and yes, I did eat some straight off the vine!). I'm a professional storyteller which is both rewarding and a cool adventure for me. But beyond that, I'm working hard to grow my career so that I may become a face and voice for victims of sexual violence, and women everywhere. I want to be a radical for change in the fight against the victimization, societal pressures and the oppression women face everyday around the world.
Five years ago I didn't think I would ever dream again. I didn't think life would be rewarding again, and I sure didn't think it could ever be better than it was from April 14, 1988 to March 6, 2007. March 7th was a death day in my eyes. I thought the event would just sit there cumbersomely in my life with no way to move it, no way around it, and no way to work with it. But I was wrong. I do have dreams- bigger than before. My life is rewarding- more enriching than it's ever been. And most of all, Im happy- happier than ever.
My point to all of this is not to boast or preach, but simply say this: It does get better. There is joy to be found in a world that may have let you down. Your heart will heal, your mind will mend and your soul will shine again. I quote Maya Angelou often but it's true; "you can trod me through the very dirt but still like dust I rise." Just when you think nothing good can ever be restored, it will be. Life is a journey so hang on and hold tight. The glow at the end of the tunnel may be faint now. But when you get there you just may find, that glow is from the bright lights of a party... celebrating the beginning of the rest of your life.
I love you movers,
BB
Sunday, January 22, 2012
In honor of the new definition
The FBI (finally) changed the 85 YEAR OLD definition of rape. I posted this picture in honor of the new, more inclusive definition which states:
"Rape is penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
This picture, with the improved definition, is a more inclusive representation what rape is in our culture today. Hopefully increased awareness such as this and the revised definition will help lead to better education, less sexual assaults and more scum bags behind bars!
This is a victory for all humankind.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Survivor Psalm
I came across this beautiful poem while thumbing through a diary I used to chronicle my journey to healing. It's my hope it will bring you as much peace as it did me.
I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was
not a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.
There is no shame in losing
such fights.
I have reached the stage of
survivor and am no longer a
slave of victim status.
I look back with sadness
rather than hate.
I look forward with hope
rather than despair.
I may never forget, but I need
not constantly remember.
I was a victim.
I am a survivor.
- Frank Ochberg
I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was
not a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.
There is no shame in losing
such fights.
I have reached the stage of
survivor and am no longer a
slave of victim status.
I look back with sadness
rather than hate.
I look forward with hope
rather than despair.
I may never forget, but I need
not constantly remember.
I was a victim.
I am a survivor.
- Frank Ochberg
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